Mother-in-law, what’s the first thing that comes to your mind when you think of her? The saree-clad, battle-axe? The nightmare that all the young daughter in laws fear? Yes, thanks to the daily soaps and the age-old beliefs, for every girl, the mother-in-law is analogized to a monster; and this starts even before the daughter-in-law gets to know her mother-in-law properly. Not only in India, mother in laws are demonized and ridiculed throughout the world.
Today, I was going through one of such posts, where the mother-in-law was ridiculed and was the target of all the humor and mockery. Yeah, I know it was a fun post and was not meant to harm feelings, but what kept me thinking is,“Are all the mother-in-laws same?” And my heart answered, “Absolutely not...!”
I am a married woman too; and trust me, if anyone can make the world a better place to live in for a daughter-in-law, then that person is no one else that the mother-in-law.
25 years I lived my life on my terms, until one fine day I was married off. Yes, I was afraid too. Things didn’t seem easy at first. But as I started adjusting in my new home, I realized there was another person in the house who was taking her baby steps in adjusting with the new relationship as well. She was my mother-in-law. From the very first day she didn’t leave any page unturned to let me feel comfortable in the new home. She made me feel comfortable to adjust to new situations, to new circumstances and to everything else that was new to me. She was strict and stern, but amiable and unassuming too. Obviously she has set the rules of the house, and everyone has been practicing it for years, but she didn’t force them on me. Time was what I needed and she was ready to give it to me.
I lost my mother when I was just 15 and my mother-in-law slowly is filling up the void which I had all these years. She treats me just the way my mother would have treated me. She is caring, loving, doesn’t allow me to do any household chores, but also shouts at me when I sit idle. She insists me to go for a walk to keep myself fit, but in the next moment brings a plate of aloo parantha with extra butter for me. She screams at me when I don’t study and also gives me a good takkar on computer games. A second helping of dessert, a candy before dinner, a peck on the cheek before going to bed, switching off the fan to wake me up in the morning, these are her ways of showing love. And sometimes I feel, I am more in love with her than my husband. He stays away, at least she doesn’t. We do have our little issues, our tiny irritations, but we solve them over a cup of coffee or a bar of chocolate.
But you know the best part? She never asks about the “good news”. Moreover, when people ask about it, she answers, “Ahh..She is just 26. Let her grow up first, let her finish her Ph.D and find a good job” And ohh..!! How much I love her.
So basically, not every mother-in-law is an ogress and not every daughter-in-law is a sati-sabitree. Tales of humiliation, intrusion into each other’s private lives, death threats, also battles over who controls family life revolves around this duo.
We should understand that just the way we have disagreements with our mother at home; we will have differences with our mom-in-law as well.
For me, my mother-in-law is a great lady, and if I need her, I know she is there for me. She is my strength, my “Rock of Gibraltar” and it didn't take me much time to go from saasu-maa to maa.
Wishing her a very happy Mother’s Day, in advance though… :D
Kyun ki kal toh saradin party J
Kyun ki kal toh saradin party J
P.S. This is post is not meant to hurt anybody.
Thank you :)
Thank you :)
